Is your mind trying to talk you out of a boudoir photoshoot? Common excuses for women on the fence about whether to have an intimate photoshoot like boudoir is always along the lines of “What if I am not sexy enough?” or even worse, “I don’t have a sexy side in me.” I will counter them with the truth.
Before we review the excuses & why they are not valid, I will quickly talk about why your mind is going against you. Excuses are, for the most part, created by our brain to try to stay in our comfort zone. Our brain is programmed to avoid things it thinks will harm us & it is, of course, not a bad thing. However, it can also be a burden on our soul & goals when our brain makes things that are not dangerous feel dangerous because it is something we have never done before & our brain thinks since we did not need it in the past to survive, why would we need it now? Trust me, I have been there, everyone has, we are all humans, we need to know as intellectuals when our mind is overreacting & creating fear out of nothing. Many times, this fear is excitement for trying something new, but the brain’s reactions are similar for the same reason; it is something you have not done before. Now, let’s start looking into the:
Top 5 Boudoir Photoshoot Excuses
1. “I don’t think I can do it.”
This one is easy. Let’s put some emphasis on think. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are always right. When you think you can’t, your brain looks for even more reasons not to do it, so maybe you also deal with another excuse or few on the list for the same reason. Now, if you change that phrase into “I think I can do it” or even better, “I can do it” or best “I know I can do it,” your brain will adjust as needed for you to achieve it. About 50% of the work is done just by changing your mindset to a positive one. You will always see the positives & possibilities if you keep your mind on the bright side. Remember that you will be guided along the way, you won’t be alone, ok beautiful? Change your phrase & book it! You CAN do it & you will be amazing at it.
2. “I don’t have the body for it.”
Umm, yes, you do… you have a body, right? You’re breathing, & you are reading this, that qualifies you for a boudoir photoshoot! Boudoir does not have body guidelines, well, at least for my work. Yes, I have realized that on social media, 90% of boudoir images are of women with lean & fit bodies. Here’s the thing, I can guarantee that most of those are professional models who focus on having & keeping “the perfect body” & wanted to post some boudoir to excite their audience & bring in more followers. Also, let’s be honest, it’s social media, non-models with bodies like that know they won’t get any criticism. Hence, they post without fear & are probably looking to become a model or influencer themselves!
Whether you believe you could lose or gain some pounds, you should not have to wait to have a boudoir photoshoot. There are two reasons. The first reason, you might be forgetting that you are working with a professional photographer, we know how to capture the image right, things that come into play here are the lighting, the angle, & the pose. If your main trouble area is your tummy, and you are still worried about it, you can quickly suck it in; even models do that when they have a bloated stomach or if gained a few pounds after that big dinner they had. We also use photo editing software & while I personally do not like over-editing your beauty, it is also an option if that is what you want. Reason two, you can always come back for another photoshoot & have something to look back at, I know you’ll probably say, “Hey, I look sexy now, but I also did before!” Most boudoir photoshoot clients come back multiple times, especially to capture body milestones or birthdays! The photoshoot is more about how it makes you feel so if anything, give yourself the gift of self-love, trust me, no matter where you are at right now in terms of your body goals, your pictures will WOW!
3. ” I don’t have a sexy side.”
Ok, what? You do know you are a human, right? We like other mammals & in fact, nearly every living thing out there has (or at least wants to) have sex. Being sexy means you are sexually attractive, as in, another human wants to get intimate with you because you are AMAZING. Yes, you do have a sexy side. I understand that for many, it is hard to express their sexuality because of reasons like social stigma & religion, or it just wasn’t talked about in the household, so it always felt like a taboo topic. You maybe never really discovered your sexy, but trust me, it’s there. If that’s the “issue” than a boudoir photoshoot just gained another pro to your list because it can help you find & show your sexy side. By the way, don’t think all women just walk into the photoshoot like “yes, I am ready & feeling super sexy for my shoot!” Like everything in life, it will take some time, we’ll talk, maybe have some awkward moments, laugh it off, eat, & you’ll realize that after a while you will feel comfortable & happy, this is the perfect setting for your sexy to come out, you’ll feel it & you will see it.
4. “I am not photogenic; I don’t like pictures of myself.”
Ahhhh well guess what, I felt the same way, but I figured out it’s not because I straight up hated my body, it’s because we tend to spot our imperfections, areas that make me go “wHy dO I HaVe BaD GenES”, for me, it was always my face specifically my chin because my parents & their family bloodline mainly have what is usually called a “baby face” we look younger than we are because our face isn’t well-defined & we’ve had people think me and my dad are brothers even though he’s double my age… I hated it, but I was always told it would help eventually & I suppose they’re right. I am not going to wait until I am in my 40-50s to take pictures of myself… you see I figured out what angles & poses make me look more my age, pictures that put more emphasis on the rest of my body, this really helped A LOT. My non-photographer friends & family would mostly take my photos, & I was never pleased with what they shot. In contrast, a photographer friend will always make me look better. Do you see what I am getting at? You think you don’t look good, but it’s really just the photography skills. Everyone has that spot they don’t like about themselves, but if the pictures are taken just right, then it is Instagram worthy!
5. “I don’t have anyone to do it for.”
Do you forget the person who should matter the most to you? The person that is always there for you? The one who, despite the hardships, still loves you & wants to be happy? YOU. Sure, most of the boudoir photoshoots are for a significant other, but the best ones are for when it’s for you. Why do you think they’re called a significant other? Because YOU are the most significant to yourself and no, it is not egotistic to say. You need to focus on yourself. As a woman, your natural instinct is to care for others & that is great, but how can you do that if you don’t consider yourself into the equation? You can’t help others if you don’t help yourself. In today’s world, people get too focused on “how can I save the planet” or “how can I make someone’s life better?” Without realizing that it all starts from within. Back to boudoir, a boudoir photoshoot is a fantastic way to explore yourself & free yourself sexually. It will find your sexy & not be afraid to show it. And if you still want an occasion for it, then having a boudoir photoshoot is a great way to celebrate and gift yourself for milestones such as birthdays, career goals, weight loss or gains, and other forms of body change or alterations. One day you could even share your images with someone you love or even with the world. Most importantly though, it is more than just the pictures. It’s for the experience and a great show of self-love, which in turn becomes a great self-esteem boost.
Well, there you have it, those are the most common excuses disassembled & destroyed, I know you are ready for a boudoir photoshoot now and hopefully, we can work together soon!